Tastebuds: A Retrospective (February 2020)
The Before. Before Covid, the Collapse of Tastebuds, and the Move to Ireland
Welcome to My 42nd Newsletter Friends!
We left off my last newsletter ringing in the New Year 2020, and this one begins ringing in the Year of the Rat. In the Chinese zodiac, the rat holds a significant place in Chinese culture. The rat is considered clever, resourceful, and adaptable. In Chinese folklore, the rat is known for its intelligence and ability to overcome challenges.
One of the perks of living and working in Cleveland’s Chinatown since 1996, (renamed Asiatown in 2006) was celebrating New Year’s Eve twice a year! While the venues have changed and the crowds attending have grown from their humble roots on Rockwell Avenue, ringing in the Chinese New Year in Cleveland is not complete until the Lion has danced! Amid the festivities and fireworks,16 members of the Kwan family perform this exciting and entertaining dance to the beat of drums, gongs, and cymbals, chasing away any bad spirits and bringing in good luck.
There is also a traditional dragon dance, performed by nine people with a tenth person holding a pearl that the dragon chases. In the lion dance the performers are concealed within the costume, but in the dragon dance the performers hold rods that raise or lower the dragon.
Ari and I attended a celebration the day after Chinese New Year 2020, at Asia Town Center and there was something strange happening. There were not a lot of people there compared to other years and I was really bothered that people were staying away from Cleveland’s Chinatown because of this deadly outbreak of coronavirus over 7000 miles away in Wuhan, China.
As we shopped at the Asia Food Company, I noticed people wearing masks, mostly elderly Chinese men and women. I shrugged it off as paranoia and walked proudly, almost smugly, thinking I was too smart to get caught up in this fear-mongering.
Oh to be that unaware again! To think, that in the Year of the Rat, I would not become one. To be forced to think like one. To become resourceful and adaptable and overcome the challenges that were no longer 7000 miles away, but were right around the corner, maybe already here.
OK! It’s Time for our FOUR (journal entries) on FRIDAY!
Journal Entry
February 4th 2020
I just watched the most incredible film, Jean-Paul Civeyrac’s A Paris Education. The film referenced two books I want to remember: The Provincial Letters and The Letters of Gustave Flaubert. The music was unbelievable as well: Bach's riveting Siciliano de la Sonata pour Flute, BMV 1031, and Mahler’s Symphony #5.
In the final scene of the movie, our hero reads this:
“Against all this, you need only, I believe, do nothing other than simply continue to be yourselves. Which means, to be constantly unrecognizable, to forget all at once, the great successes and continue unafraid, obstinant, eternally contrary; to demand, to will, to identify yourselves with all that is different, to scandalize and to blaspheme.”
What a film! Now I want to go to film school! I needed this so badly. I reached out to Grafton and have not heard back about my screenplay and I can only assume he hated it. I rewatched David Mamet’s Masterclass and have lost all confidence. Ironically, Mamet is who got me going, who got me believing in my story, and who made me think I was doing everything right.
Bridget!!! It is the FIRST draft of your FIRST screenplay! It’s going to need a ton of work! So, GET BACK AT IT! Listen to Mamet, listen to Hemmingway. You know what doesn’t belong, and you can start cutting those scenes tomorrow.
This movie tonight had a powerful scene where our hero drinks up at a bar after losing the girl of his dreams to a friend he admires. He asks,
“How do you know when something is worth it?”
“In General, there is a price to pay for everything. It’s worth it when it can’t be any other way.
“IT’S WORTH IT WHEN IT CAN’T BE ANY OTHER WAY.”
This is how I feel about giving it all up for writing.
I must write.
No matter what the cost.
Journal Entry
February 11th, 2020
Can't sleep. I made it official today about my retirement. Had my last staff meeting, thanked everyone, reassured everyone, and apparently offended and inadvertently hurt everyone.
I'm sick about it. Half my staff has been with me for over a decade. I'm heartbroken that they are heartbroken. I was not expecting this. I haven't really been thinking of how my departure will affect people, just my business.
So now… I'm thinking about everyone and everything and I'm freaking the fuck out.
And then there is my house, which has been for sale for 25 days and no one has been interested enough to want to see the rental units. It's ugly in the winter, but I am losing so much money with the upstairs vacant. I kind of want to get out of here. It’s so hard living next door to the restaurant I no longer run. When I get back from Ireland, if there have been no offers, I'm gonna move into it.
Wait! No, I AM NOT! My next move is to Ireland!
It's interesting how all of the things I want to flee in America, I seem to have become numb to; the nastiness, the gun violence, the politics. It all used to enrage me, which means I better get out of here before I start believing that this is all normal and acceptable.
Politics may be just as fucked up in Ireland, the difference is people have forgotten how to enjoy themselves here. They have forgotten how to be kind to one another. People are so miserable, and everyone I swear to God, everyone is sick all of the time with colds, cases of flu, and strep throat.
OK, the bright side:
I've got Erin running the restaurant.
I've got $100,000 in the bank to play with. That can certainly buy me at least a year in Ireland with side trips to Paris, Barcelona, London, and Rome.
Father Mark is going to baptize Ari in April and Rick and Erin have agreed to become his godparents!
My screenplay is fucking great! It's time to move on, beyond Grafton!
Valentine's Day is Friday and I plan to spend the day with Ari seeing a movie, getting his haircut, and eating Mitchell's ice cream!
Journal Entry
February 13th, 2020
I just watched an incredible movie that I got from Rocky River Library’s foreign section after spotting, Antonio Banderas on the cover! It's called La Vida Misma (Life Itself). Holy fuck, was it good! It slayed me emotionally!
Ari came into my room, abandoning his Legos and iPad when he heard me sobbing. He lay on top of me with his hands clasped behind my neck. He lifted his face into mine, smiling, trying to block me from watching the TV. Getting me to squeeze him tight and laugh through my tears as the final twist of the movie revealed a college-age boy sitting on the bed with his dying mother.
Ari didn't talk. He just smiled at me and hugged my neck with his head resting on my chest from time to time. He got the gist of what was happening in the movie, and without looking, he suddenly said, “I am not gonna die for a lot, a lot, a lot of years!” I smiled, and then I just balled my eyes out, saying, “It sucks that we have to die, it really, really sucks. "
I told him that he was probably gonna have to see me die, but that we would do so much fun stuff before that happened. I promised we would travel and try to see all of the cool stuff there is to see. He said, "Can we see the northern lights? "Love it! That's a new one on my list!
When he figured it was safe to leave me, halfway through the credits, I just sat there, wondering who the fuck wrote this movie. I mean half the movie was in English, half in Spanish, but the Spanish had no subtitles, and yet I understood it so completely. It didn’t just walk me to the edge, it threw me over the cliff!
I never saw it coming, whatever the next character or scene would bring was just a total surprise, what a delight, what genius!
So I googled him, the writer, and Director, Dan Fogelman and unbelievably he is the creator of This Is Us, and among many incredible things he wrote the movie Cars!
Journal Entry
February 17th, 2020
Ari and I had the best weekend, starting with a trip to the art museum on Valentine's Day and then taking the Perks to Mitchell's ice cream. Ari insisted we visit Carney on the way home and just our luck, he was at the bar and so were the Portersharks! What a blast! Carney looked better than he has all year and the owner of Brothers Lounge was there as well and he did a fine job entertaining Ari!
Ari entertained everyone. Once the Portersharks began to play he did his version of Irish dancing, which was pretty adorable! The perfect ending to a perfect day. Saturday I bought Ari a toy at Target to thank him for bringing joy to so many people the night before!
And Finally…
I’ve just got to leave you with this video of Ari Irish dancing at Carney’s Bar to the Portersharks!
Enjoy!
Thank You For Being Here With Me My Friends!
Cheers!
Bridget